Friday, 5 June 2009

We're looking for gold

I think the Fun Fed is a beautiful organisation. I've been working with them as a freelancer pretty much since the beginning, nearly four years ago.

I love the team.

And I love our aims.

We want to create a space for people to experience what we call golden feelings. Yeh, it sounds cheesy but we mean it.

The first time I remember having a golden feeling - actually it's the second - I was 14. It was Christmas time. We'd just done a school concert in a church lit by fire torches. I went next door to the pub where my friends were playing folk music to the light of a big log fire and candles on the old wooden tables. The whole front room of the pub was joining in - three musicians had been hired to play but loads of people had brought their fiddles and their drums and those of us who hadn't were drumming the table and singing along.

That night I had the sense that I had a big ball in my tummy, aglow with a goldenness that pervaded all of me.

We - the team - talk now about a golden mountain, of feelings of happiness and joy that are free from insecurity, endless brain chatter, judgement, fear, anger or whatever. Pure joy I guess.

At the bottom of the golden mountain are feelings of calm joy, like the joy of getting peacefully on with something you love, from doing some craftwork, some gardening, gently sawing up firewood with a friend in an evening forest.

About midway up the mountain we have the higher energy joy, a kind of natural high you might feel while having a really good dance or singing with a bunch of people and the harmonies lift you up.

Then towards the peak of the mountain, we have kind of bliss states, trance states even. This is delicate and mysterious territory that we're just beginning to gently tiptoe into.

I do a lot of weird stuff, and it's taken me into blissful trance states about three or four times. These have been some of the most overwhelmingly beautiful experiences of my life.

"Experiences you might be lucky to feel in a whole lifetime," said my friend Ben, trying to get his head around it when I was explaining this to him.

Yep. I guess so.

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